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ARTICLES & WEBINARS​

Students Win When You Prioritize Yourself

1/23/2025

 
Students win when you prioritize yourself: Reflection after the mini Global Respectful Disruption Summit 
Erin Butler | [email protected]
Sr. Admin Assistant in Dept of Global Engagement
College of Lake County | LinkedIn  

Preschool beginning at age two, a K-12 education, and four years earning an undergraduate degree at university equaled 20 years of my life with the role of: student. 
My career as a student–one where my responsibilities were told to me, where I was assigned deadlines and homework, where I was to complete tasks on an individual basis, was greatly fulfilling for me. I thrived–I loved knowing exactly where I stood, with constant feedback from authorities and peers (grades, awards, praise); I loved knowing exactly how to complete an assignment, with a rubric to guide me; I loved knowing the exact schedule of each day, exactly how the semester would progress, with a syllabus to guide me; I loved the control I had over my own work and the non-control I had when it came to how the work was completed, and when it was completed. 
I knew how to be a good student–scratch that–an excellent student. I’m not saying this to brag or make myself feel good, it’s just the truth. I never got a B grade in college. In fact, as the courses at Butler got more advanced, the more I succeeded: in my senior seminar courses, I got 100% grades on final exams, I got As on term papers worth 40% of my grade. I knew how to succeed; I knew what I was doing. 
In May 2024, I graduated: my role as student became irrelevant. Now, days after my commencement, I was unemployed: my role was job-seeker. Then, after several months of searching, networking, volunteering, etc., it all came together for me, at once: I began my internship with IEI in October, I started volunteering with Lessons from Abroad Chicago in early November, and I was hired as a full-time Senior Administrative Assistant at the College of Lake County in mid-November. 
Transitioning from student–a role I so deeply loved, understood, and lived in for 20 years–to employee, is a large one. I was never given a syllabus; I wasn’t given a set schedule of my day-to-day. I was given my responsibilities, hired, and after two days of orientation, expected to get things done, as an employee. 
I was overwhelmed, to put it lightly: I was completely lost on when and how to “get things done.” It was the first time in my 23 years of living existing in a role other than student. I didn’t even know how to start. My way of managing my overwhelm and my new responsibilities was to prioritize everything other than myself. I told myself I needed to work at 110% every day, the entire day, with my utmost focus on the students’ needs, my teams’ needs, and the college’s needs.
I realized fairly quickly I was getting in my own way. The way I used to be as a student–a perfectionist, an individualist, and a hustler–only weighed me down in my job. As an employee, I would forget to take lunch breaks. Major projects would slip my mind. I would get so wrapped up in others’ questions/concerns/bids for help that I wouldn’t even remember that it was hour nine of my work day. I was frantic and frenzied constantly–I was completely drained. 
Yet, I didn’t take a day off. I kept coming to work everyday because what is and will always be at the forefront of my mind is not myself, but the student. 
I know I’m not alone in this philosophy. My team at CLC runs with the student as the priority; many of my K-12 teacher friends have the same perspective, etc. And, with that belief, so much gets accomplished: increased student retention, student success, student well-being and belongingness, and more. But, with this article, I hope to challenge this philosophy as a driving priority, at least a little bit. 
I’m not saying there’s no value in this perspective, that the student comes first, but, I’d argue that if we are putting someone before ourselves, the employees (the instructors, the assistants, the directors, etc) who is taking care of/paying attention to us? 
My attendance at the mini Global Respectful Disruption Summit asked me this question. Speakers at the summit, with their various themes of topics, were all centering on the same points: how do we feel appreciated in our (traditionally) thankless work? What are the ways we can feel cared for in our (traditionally) caregiving jobs? 
The answer: caring for yourself, first–the forefront of your mind being yourself, not the student.  
My way of thinking was disrupted: I’d truly never thought to consider myself, as an employee, first. My way of interacting within the field; my way of prioritizing others over myself in my service role, was actually harming me in some ways. I mean, as one of the speakers at the summit asked, how could I offer anything if I did not have it within myself to begin with? 
If you’re like me, your brain immediately goes to “Well I don’t know how to do that,” and the thought of prioritizing yourself ends there. In some ways, it’s easy to always center someone else in your life, especially in service work; it is easy to ignore and run away from the discomfort that bubbles to the surface every time the only focus is yourself. 
Yet, the consequences of not focusing on yourself and your own wellbeing are serious: health issues, burnout, stress, resentment, and more all come when you aren’t feeling taken care of. So, below is an actionable list of things you can do to take care of yourself, in big and small ways. 
Steps to combat burnout
Small steps:
  • Taking more frequent mini breaks 
    • It’s time to redefine what a ‘break’ means:
    • Breaks are productive
      • When your body and mind has time to decompress, you can feel a better sense of direction when returning to work
    • Breaks don’t need to be long
      • They can be as small as taking 30 seconds to look away from your computer monitor, looking out a window nearby, and returning to work 
    • Breaks are necessary    
      • Humans don’t have unlimited energy supplies; it’s just not how we work
        • Even robots need to reboot; your phone needs to ‘charge’ etc. 
  • Slowing down
    • Not everything needs to get done immediately; no matter how ‘urgent’ it feels 
      • When we slow down, with our breathing, our walking pace, eating pace, typing pace, etc., we slow down our nervous system, allowing for it to be more regulated 
      • When we feel more regulated and composed, we can actually accomplish more
        • Think about it: with a calm clear mind, how many emails can you write? When you are stressed and distracted by the noise, how many emails can you write?​
Medium step:
  • Saying no 
    • I put this as a medium step, because saying no can be a breeze for some, and an impossible task for others 
    • If you find yourself feeling overcommitted, overextended, and overall exhausted, you probably aren’t saying no enough. Here are some things to remember and practice:
      • Letting go ⇔ Leaning in 
        • Letting things go is just as valuable and important as leaning in to things
        • Saying “no” is not a reflection of your character or worth
          • When you let a task, commitment, or responsibility go, it can feel like you’ve failed, or that you’re not caring/compassionate enough
          • Yet, actually, it is an act of care to say no
          • It is an act of care for yourself–in saying no, you now have room to rest, to do something else, to be with friends or family, and more
          • It is an act of care for the person you are saying no to–now, the person has the opportunity to find someone that does have the capacity for their need
Big step:
  • Developing healthy self-awareness
    • Being aware of your self comes with many kinds of awareness:
      • Of your energy; what drains you and what ignites you
      • Of your strengths and gifts you offer to the world
      • Of your manner and sense of belonging with others, your community
      • Of your behavior
      • Of your spots for improvement–
    •  It’s important to make sure this self-awareness and assessment is objective: 
      • Be careful to not indulge in hyper-criticism, shame, or guilt for your faults or mistakes
        • Understand (truly and deeply) that being a good person doesn’t equate to being perfect–being a good person means one cares enough to try and be good. Effort over indifference means everything. 
  • Developing healthy boundaries
“Boundaries are a prerequisite for compassion and empathy. We can’t connect with someone unless we’re clear about where we end and they begin. If there’s no autonomy between people, then there’s no compassion or empathy, just enmeshment.” - Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart (2021)
  • More on Brene Brown and boundaries
    Another great resource to get started on establishing and maintaining boundaries

I have the 2024 mini Global Respectful Disruption Summit to thank for all the above tools and wisdom I’ve shared with you all. If you’re interested in learning more about the summit and the organization that runs it – COMPEAR – I’ve linked several resources below for you to look through. As a final note, co-chairs Christina Thompson and Kory Saunders are running their 3rd annual Global Respectful Disruption summit this April. I highly encourage you all to check out what they are planning for this spring. 
GRD website
FAQ’s - GRD summit
More about the 2024 summit
More about the April 2025 summit
COMPEAR website 


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